Sunday, May 13, 2012

Paying it forward

The other day, a friend tweeted that he had given his book info to some people and I told him, "yay, go you." He tweeted back that I should send him some of my bookmarks for him to hand out as well. My reply: Really? Another time a friend said she was excited to see my new works in progress. My reply again: Really? I think she headdesked. Yes, really!

It's unfathomable that people would want to help me out. I will help other writers out til the world ends, but I don't expect them to help me back. Why should they? Is my writing really as good as theirs? Do I really deserve it? Come on, let's stop this joking around and be honest. I'm not that good. I still can't wrap my head around the whole Turkish foreign rights deal.

Don't get me wrong, I am elated over that and I jump for joy when someone tells me they read my blurb and are excited to read Being Human. I'm excited when a friend says they will beta read my next story. I just don't expect it to happen. I don't expect people to RT my links in return for RTing theirs, like my page back, or want to help me in any way. I'm not even sure I expect a thank you. (Honestly, not always sure I like getting thanks. I tend to feel like I should say something back but you're welcome sounds lame in my head.)

I guess it's just part of my mentality or maybe something to do with how I was raised. You help others because you want to, not because you expect something in return. Plus, if you expect something and nothing happens then you're left with disappointment. And trust me when I tell you I can disappoint and guilt trip myself without anyone's help.

21 comments:

  1. Writers help writers because we understand what it takes. And stop putting yourself down-- you're a bloody good writer!! :)

    And if you need me to tweet some links, just DM/ mail me!

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    1. Thanks. Hopefully, I'll get my next story ready soon and hit you up on that offer.

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  2. It really is easier to offer help than accept it. Weird, right?

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    1. It's so much easier to help others. At least for me.

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  3. HEY!! This is me -> "Another time a friend said she was excited to see my new works in progress. My reply again: Really? I think she headdesked. Yes, really!" <- Me.Me.Me.Me.Me.Me.Me.Me... Okay spaz moment over...

    Down to the good stuff.


    Patty... -drums fingers- Don't make me break out the clown makeup and camera... you know when cuz I so will.

    You be fantastic.

    I am the wifey so what I say goes.

    No more of this nonsense.

    So there.

    TeeHee!

    XD

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    1. But Looooooor! I have confidence issues and they won't go away over night.

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  4. Aww, this is so lovely. I think there's a big part of us that genuinely feels awesome when we help other. I love helping friends purely because I know it's doing something good for them. Go you for having such wonderful people surrounding you!

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  5. I am still shaking my head that you were holding off and possibly not asking me to beta for you when I've read everything else! heh. Yes I have my own things to do, but you know I will work you in and I don't do it just because you look at my stuff. I do it because I enjoy it and your writing. We are writing partners, no? Don't make me smack you around next time :P

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    1. You and Lor are going to gang up on me one of these days, I just know it. lol

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  6. Your blog is fab & I'm looking forward to reading Being Human this weekend so I have nominated you for the Sunshine blog award! Please see http://www.witchbloodthenovel.com for details :-D

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  7. Take the publicity anyway you can get it.

    I understand your thoughts, though. I am used to helping because I want to help, not because I may get something in return.

    Coming through from the A-Z Challenge!

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  8. I feel similarly. I'll offer up my services to so many people, but when it comes to asking for help I feel like no one is interested in my work and so I push it all on my sister XD I don't expect help, and a lot of time am in shock when I receive an offer for it.

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    1. Do you also get ppl scolding you for being in shock too? Cuz I get that all the time. ^^;;

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  9. Someone sent me a card once that said "The world is a much better place because you're in it." That same person didn't hesitate to talk to me when the dark tide was rising over my head and I was on the verge of doing something stupid. That same person constantly encourages me and reminds me that it does get better and never hesitates to RT, comment or respond to anything/everything I say. I know that if I needed this person to, she'd go to bat for me.

    How you could possibly think that my asking you for bookmarks to pimp out your book (which is fantabulous) even compares to what you've done for me is completely beyond my comprehension. You, my bestie, are amazing and you deserve the greatest things that life has to offer, me passing out bookmarks is a small contribution to that end.

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    1. Uh, do you really want me to answer that? ^^;;

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    2. I didn't even ask a question. LOL. Silly. No response but a smile, head nod and a "Yes Vic" is needed.

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    3. How about grins and blushes like an idiot? ;)

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    4. Judges? *looks to judges, they nod, looks back* We will accept "grins and blushes like an idiot." LOL.

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    5. *grins and blushes like an idiot* teehee

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